Darkness leads to false fear…

Shalom Dear Readers,

I hope this simple and short message finds your hearts joyful.

I am happy to find my way here and excited to share what the Lord has been doing in my life.

Let’s talk about darkness that brings false fear into our lives. It has a way of coming into our lives to either keep us put, or lead us astray.  As I was walking down from my office tonight with one of our students/children we had a power outage for like three minutes or more, and we immediately stopped to the fear of falling or taking the wrong path…

The darkness that brought fear of either falling or taking the wrong path made us rethink of our own ways to continue going, and trusting our instincts to not fall. I must admit my student was braver than I was.

We ended up agreeing to go ahead and keep walking but very carefully. We kept trying so hard to “see”, and walk in the darkness. We saw trees (nature) ahead of us, and they kinda helped us to know where we were going, but still it wasn’t that easy! Sometimes we try so hard to trust ourselves, the nature, things God created or worse yet what we have created to lead us in the right direction, but it will never do so as long as His Light is not on in us to show us the right way to go.

That darkness made us stop for a while to rethink ways we were going to keep going. When we are in a spiritual darkness, it makes us stop from where we were going, and delays us to reach where we were going. It will also create false fear, and make us work so hard to find our own ways to keep going…

Back to my student and I dark moment! We saw a car with its headlights on a bit far from us, even though it gave us some light it wasn’t enough to lead our way to where we were going! We were going in different ways! Sometimes we see/have people in our lives with lights on, but because we aren’t close to them enough for them to light our paths, or because they aren’t going in the same direction as us, it doesn’t really help us see. Besides, the car was way faster than us that it kinda gave us some light for really few seconds.

So many lessons learned in a really short period of time! I will always need God’s Light for my path to always be clear, for me to not fear, and be a stagnant christian. I will also need His people going in the same direction as I am close to me to light my way when I don’t have my light on or when it is low, because I need to be in Him to recharge. I need to have God, and fear God to fear away false fear, and keep me away from false fear…


John 12:35 Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going.










I have been missing this blessed platform, and just writing my thoughts down…

This year has been a great one, where I have been learning to be humble, to not give up, to try, to say Yes…

My Lord is always in control, and ready to surprise me with his goodness, and I am forever grateful to Him.

Have you ever felt like you needed to be more, do more, and give more? I have been feeling that way this year, and I am grateful that I have a great place where I can be able to do all that.

I was given so many privileges of learning and growing this year. Thank you world!

First of all, I had a lot of fear of how this year would go, but it has been a great ride so far, and I am happy to share a bit of it.

I didn’t know that I would travel to the US this year, but I did…I was able to see a lot, taste a lot, hear a lot, and learn a lot.

I was able to see how people live life outside my continent (Africa), and I appreciated a number of things…

I was able to hear different people share some of their stories, and I was moved. I was able to hear other people perspective of life. Humbling!

I was able to try different cuisines in a short period of time…Delicious! Tried Cuban, Ethiopian, Tex-Mex, Venezuelan, etc. And I didn’t pay for any of those meals. Humbling!

I was able to learn a lot. It is amazing to be a student again, especially when you have been a teacher for a year. Humbling!

Where do I go from here? Where do I start from to also be a blessing to others. How do I tell the world not to worry, but to say yes when God wants you to say yes, and to let God be in control.

It’s amazing how a short trip can remind you of so many things, and still change you.

I am so grateful to my hosts for the weeks I spent with them, for doing their best to make me feel comfortable, and enjoy Austin. I am also grateful to the US for hosting us, and allowing us to have a great time as we learned how much we can change this world.

May we live to fulfill our purpose in life!


The Road to LIFE

This is so deep!! Thanks for sharing…



There’s a kind of pain that never leaves you the same. The kind of pain that shakes your whole world, that leads you to question why things are the way they are or have always been the same. This pain cuts so deep that you have no other option but to rebuild yourself from scratch. It completely changes your worldview. It pushes you to want to know yourself more. It lays down a whole new foundation for your life. It tears you apart and pieces you together anew as well… This is a transformative type of pain, a different kind of pain. This is The kind of pain that gives you a new identity; one you look back to and fall on your knees and say “Thank you, God”.

Last night I played a worship song I wrote a few years ago when my world was falling apart. Tears almost…

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Some of my Story

When I turned 4 years in June 1994 I was facing the hardest moments in my short life, and I’m not sure if, even 23 years later, I can describe exactly what happened and how I felt.

I do hold memories from before those days. One of the best was with my father Emmanuel James Kayitare and dancing in the house together to Bob Marley’s songs. He had a sense of humor, yet was a careful man. It took him a while to choose his bride and our mother, Velene Wibabara. She was quiet, caring and made sure we children had all we needed. She was also very neat, and beautiful! My sister Fiona Kayitare, one year and 10 months older than me, surely inherited all that from her.

The day like no other came and we witnessed our parents being killed. It happened in Nyamirambo where we lived. Soldiers and Hutu civilians came through our blue entry gate restraining our dad like a convicted criminal. My father looked terrified as they dragged him inside our compound. The next thing I remember, was seeing him for the last time lying dead on our living-room couch.

To this day, I believe much of his fear was for us. In 1993, he took my mom, sister and me to seek refuge in Burundi. We lived in Bujumbura for 6 months, while our father stayed working in Rwanda and visited often.

We lived with the late Dr. Alphonse and his wife Mediatrice. They had just gotten married, yet didn’t mind us living in their home, for 6 months. We eventually returned to Rwanda before April 1994, after the peace agreement was signed between the Rwandan government, and the Rwandese Patriotic Font (RPF).

One day in April 1994, we were forced to stay with our mother, when the killers ordered us to sit on the back yard ground. She was hit often, with a big, thick stick used to smash isombe (cassava leaves) and her blood was flowing. My mother had a Bible in her hand, and she didn’t let it go until she lost consciousness. I don’t remember seeing my father being shot, yet both parents were murdered that day.

I don’t remember hiding in the bushes or anywhere. I was scared, and worried, but at least my sister and I stayed together. A soldier yanked us from our Kigali house and we left behind the dead bodies of our beloved parents.

I remember walking and walking…we were helpless yet our lives were spared, and only God knows why and how.

The soldier left us somewhere on the road in Gitarama after walking for hours, because he was scared of RPF Inkotanyi. As a white priest drove by, he saw us alone on the road, and decided to drive us to a camp in Kibuye. A Rwandan refugee called Madeleine, felt sorry for us and took care of us in the camp. We got different diseases, mostly due to malnutrition. When the genocide ended we returned to Kigali.

Fiona provided Madeleine with a little information about our parents, helping her to trace our dad’s colleague at US-AID. He contacted a man called Wyclef, our father’s close friend, who found us with Madeleine in Gitega. Wyclef, and Jeanne (our current guardian’s youngest daughter) found us in bad shape-scared and traumatized, barely able to talk, or eat. When asked, we could answer a few questions.

For a few months, Wyclef welcomed us into his home. He fed us, and we started to regain physical strength. My sister and I were, he said, inseparable.

In a short time we moved out of his house and in with our current guardian, Grandma Helene K. Murekezi. She welcomed us with open arms beginning in 1995, with her and with time we also found the rhythm of life and we still live with her until today. Ironically, the late Dr. Alphonse, our protector in Burundi, was Grandma Helene’s oldest son. Bless her and her family!

We never got a chance to bury our parents.  Like others, we have been told their bodies might be at the Kigali Genocide Memorial site.


With gratitude today and every day, we thank: God for everything He has done for us through different ways; the current government of Rwanda for all it has done for Rwandans to be where we are today; Madeleine for taking care of us when she also needed help, and making sure we were in good hands; grandma Helene a.k.a mama-mukuru, and her family for allowing God to use them in giving us safe haven; loving and raising us, for the past 22 years. They were true friends with our grandparents, and father; Dr. Gasasira for giving us free medical treatment over these 22 years, he was a very good friend of our father; and the US Embassy and US-AID staff for supporting us to complete our studies, showing they care about their former colleagues’ families.


2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

A short video for you to watch: https://rw.usembassy.gov/interview-diane-kayitare/

Loving fully ~ living fully

I woke up, and sat on my desk thinking about God, my life, and others. Wondering how I can rise and shine today. Life is pretty interesting and I am forever grateful. I have been living, but I still have questions about life in general, and about the future. The Word says not to worry about the future, but it is hard not to think hard or worry about the future. Especially in this time and age where we want to look the best we can, give the best speech, live the best life and leave the best legacy. I keep thinking and asking myself if I’m doing my best, I’m living my best, and I’m allowing myself to be exposed (in a godly way of course) for God to use me.

Waking up every day gets to a point we no longer see it as a privilege, we tend to think that it was meant to be, therefore we will live the way we want. I think there’s a little bit of faith in that, but we forget we are awake because God still wants to use us to make this world, this community, this family, this person better by being better, by trying better, and by giving better. Ann Voskamp challenges me to be broken enough to be able to give until I will have nothing else left to offer to this world. I keep thinking how life is all about giving, and how Jesus came to give and He nailed it. I definitely want to become a better giver. Be more like Christ, not worry, but give all of me for the Father to use for His glory. How can one accept to be broken in this era, when we don’t even want to think of taking a break to enjoy the birds flying and rain falling outside?

How can I live in this life without worrying about a thing? How in the world we live in can we perfectly do it? And I should pray and have faith instead of worrying? I know I worry about myself, and others, but I heard that once you become a mother it even gets worse. As you open up to love, there is more risks for you to get hurt and worry. It makes me wonder if Jesus never worried when He was still here on earth. What about now when He sees that most of us aren’t striving to grow in His way? What about our Father who knows us more than we know ourselves. I choose to follow His guidance, He tells me to pray, then I will pray. Thank you Lord for accepting the heavy burden, and giving me the choice to ask and trust in you.

Loving fully reminds me of living fully. Loving someone even when they say or do something that hurts and disappoints you. Lord, I have been trying to understand how I can master this love science, keeping in mind that you are the true master and love, and I must say that it is a total joy but also a risk. How can I love someone without trusting him with my heart, that maybe he will take care of it better than I have been taking care of it. Maybe he will help me know myself better in a sweet and sometimes sour way.

I can’t totally trust myself to do something up to the end, but I can choose to trust the Lord to carry me through it all. I should trust God to use me, and others. Everyone was created in God’s image and I think that means that we all have a little or more of God in us, and when we choose to be used by Him, He can take control of our lives and people can see more of Him than us. Lord empty me of me, so I can be filled with you. Can I trust the Lord in you even if I don’t know you? Can I give you the benefit of a belief that you can choose to shine His light today instead of hurting me? My life is definitely not my own, and I want to surrender it to God to use in each and every way possible.

Psalms 146:3

Loving Heart


I want to Grow

For Him to Show

I know I’m no Pro

All for His Glory

I need to learn and Give

For me to really Live

For one day I’ll Leave

To live another Life


I can struggle with Faith

Stumble & dwell in Fear

Life can really be Real

Especially if He isn’t Near


He calls me to Stay

Even when I go Astray

I need Him and to Pray

He gives His Word and Way


He said I can Shine

Learn how to Abide

Let His will be Mine

He has always been Mr. Right



The writing process:

Dear writers or near future writers (it’s never too late to start and Zig Ziglar said that you don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great).

Imagine if you started writing today and ended up publishing your own book at the end of the year. Yes, it is very possible. Let’s do it.


1. Find a worthwhile idea to write about.
2. Learn as much as you can about the subject.
3. Form a thesis and plan your writing.

Writing the first draft

1. Write the first draft while your prewriting is fresh in your mind.
2. Write as freely as you can, using your planning as a guide.
3. Keep writing until you come to a natural stopping point.


1. Review your first draft, keeping in mind the purpose of the assignment, your thesis, and your audience.
2. Also have your instructor or a writing peer review your work.
3. Add, cut, rework, or rearrange ideas as necessary.

Editing and proofreading

1. Read your final draft aloud to test it for sense and sound.
2. Check for errors in usage, punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. (Have a peer editor check your work as well.)
3. Prepare a neat final copy of your writing.
4. Then proofread the final draft for errors before submitting it.


1. Submit your work in class or for publication.
2. Collect your best writing in a portfolio.